Dress - ASOS (Shop Here)

We all know the power of representation. The importance of seeing someone that looks like you. The conversation about diversity and inclusion is being talked about more especially in countries like the US and the UK. Mainly because the media produced and those in power were not reflecting the people in these countries. Things are changing for the better. It is a slow change but it is change nonetheless.

I spent most of my developing years out of the United States. I am Nigerian American and currently live in Atlanta, Georgia. I grew up in Nigeria until I was 11 then in Malaysia until I was 15. Therefore the media I consumed was very different from my peers in the US. I was exposed from an early age to publications, movies, and much more with people that looked like me. More importantly, the people shown were multifaceted and had many layers to their personalities. Unlike the mainstream media produced in the US that didn't always portray minority groups in a positive light or beyond a stereotype.  

When I moved to Malaysia that was my first taste of not seeing people that looked like me in Ads or shows. When I did see people that looked like me it was from western media. It was in media such as hip-hop music videos. That was also the content Malaysians were consuming about black people. Even though my experience living in Malaysia was amazing, mainly because I attended an international school with students from all over the world. This was not the case for many others. This is why the media produced should represent the people in a country and give diversity to the characters. Two individuals may be the same race, which gives them similar experiences but many factors create different personalities. 

One of the reasons, I am fascinated by telling stories and sharing experiences is I see the need for representation. I am blessed that I grew up in an environment, I didn't have to question my value. My parents made sure to let me know, I am special and loved. Many people do not have that therefore they seek their value from the outside. I will always be an advocate for finding your self-worth and loving yourself regardless of what the world is telling you. Although, that is easier said than done. Thanks to the internet you can find media produced that uplift and share diverse stories of people that are not usually shown in the mainstream. I urge you to consume media that makes you feel seen. As well as support media produced by people from different backgrounds from yourself. 

As I get older I realize being an adult is just putting out one fire after the next. There are a lot of benefits of being an adult although to have the life I want for myself and my loved ones, it will take a lot of work. When there is work there is stress. I am very good at keeping my emotions in check although I tend to keep things to myself. On the outside, I look put together and carefree. Whereas on the inside, everything is on fire and I only have one water bottle to put out the fire. Here are some tips for transforming that water bottle into a powerful firefighter unit.

1. Talk to someone

This is the most obvious way to handle stress but a lot of people (including myself) do not use this approach. My go-to person is my mum and brother. They both have different ways of calming me down. My mum gives me words of encouragement and prayer. My brother is my logical thinker and planner. He helps me come up with real ways to solve the problem. In your case, your person may be a friend or professional such as a therapist. Therapy is very powerful and I have heard some amazing things about this approach to dealing with stress. I have been searching for a therapist (on and off) for over a year and I plan to start before the summer. Maybe we can all get therapists together? Yay!

2. Distraction

This is NOT the best way to overcome stress but it is a way to calm yourself down for a short time. I love to turn off my mind and enter another space. My go-to sources for distractions are tv shows, reading, and podcasts. When it comes to reading, I love audiobooks and storytelling podcasts. I lie down with my headphones, close my eyes and enter another world with someone else being the main character. It is truly amazing not having to think about myself but for a brief moment focus on someone else... even if that person is fictional.

3. Deal with the problem head-on

This is honestly the best way to tackle stress, by figuring out the problem and dealing with it to the best of your abilities. I can promise you it will feel amazing afterward. But the process will be painful and emotionally draining. A lot of my stress comes from the number of things I need to do and the responsibilities I have. This is a necessary evil to accomplish my goals. I recently started asking for help when I know someone is better suited for the task and understanding it's okay to say no and turn down an opportunity. I was feeling overwhelmed because I was doing too much with no enough time. I am still working on finding that work/life balance but that is just a part of growing up. 

SHOP THE LOOK

Top - Shein (here) | Bag - Shein (here) | Pants - Thrifted (similar here) | Shoes - Target (here) | Scarf - Thrifted, Earrings - Shein (here) 

Okay, okay... the title is a little misleading. I can never give up sweatpants. My love of athleisure is eternal. Although, like everyone else in the world I miss having a reason to dress up. I miss meeting new people and making new memories. I've taken my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine and I am feeling optimistic about the future. I don't think things will ever be back to "normal" but it would be nice to move around in a heailter happier world. 

SHOP THE LOOK
Top - Shein (here), Pants - Zara, Earings - Shein (here), Bag - Shein (here)

@marvelingmind

I love to create. Bringing an idea that lives in my mind to life fills me with so much joy. I also love doing so for others. Although, there are moments when my mind is frazzled. Recently, this has been happening more frequently than usual. This is mainly due to the pandemic. A lot of my ideas come from talking to people and exploring new places. This way of getting inspired is obviously limited therefore I have found new ways to get the wheels turning.

1. DO NOTHING

I know, I know... you are thinking, "Feyi, how the hell is this going to help?" and I am telling you it does. When you are trying so hard to come up with an idea you put a lot of pressure on yourself which doesn't allow your mind to wander or think freely. You spend more time thinking of how to come up with an idea instead of actually coming up with an idea. By doing nothing or distracting yourself from the task allows you to stumble across something that sparks your interest. 

2. LOOK TO OTHER FORMS OF CREATIVITY 

This always works for me. There are many ways to create and bring ideas to life. If you are a musician look at the work of a photographer. If you are a painter, listen to music. In my case,  I create through digital tools such as video editing or graphic design. I love to read or listen to audiobooks when I am looking for inspiration. I fall under the "new age" of design or content creation and looking at artists who use non-technological tools to create inspires me to create with my non-traditional tools. It is also wonderful to support other creatives and the power of the internet allows that. There is Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube and so much more to find people doing work similar or completely different to you but learn from them. There are platforms that are created to build a sense of community for creatives. Such as Deviantart, which is an online art community featuring artwork, videography, and photography. 

3. LEARN FROM ANOTHER CULTURE 

Before doing this you must understand there is a difference between Cultural Appropriation and Cultural Appreciation. Please, learn about this before taking this step. There is so must beauty in places different from where you grew up. I love watching foreign TV shows and getting inspiration from their fashion or hairstyles. If you are an architect, look at buildings and structures in places different from yours. If you are a musician listen to songs in different languages. The key is to work with the creatives from different places. Reach out to collaborate and create something new together. DO NOT STEAL and claim an idea has your own. There is so much beauty in bringing two worlds together. 

It's been a very long time since I have sat down and shared what is going on in my life. Usually, I like to keep things light and breezy although if I did so now, I would be doing myself a disservice. Where do I begin? Hmm... how about stating the obvious. 2020 was trash. A year I would love to forget. Although, I would be lying if I didn't say it made me stronger. Oh yes, it for sure made me stronger. Whether I wanted it to or not.

I am going to run through some of my major low points of last year excluding the major events that impacted us all such as COVID, racial injustice, and the overall loss of so many lives. My mental health was at the weakest it had ever been. I thank God every day for my support system because that was one of the few positive things to come out of 2020. My relationships with my loved ones grew stronger.

The start of 2020 was wonderful! We brought in the new year by the ocean. It was a very relaxing start to the new year. I was also up for a job promotion and getting ready to register a business, my friend and I were about to launch. That all went out the window when COVID hit. I lost my job due to the pandemic and had to reevaluate my finances. I started to freelance a lot more as my main source of income. The fear of not knowing the exact amount of money I was going to make that month was terrifying. Looking back, I am very proud for taking that step because it lead to my current job. It also showed me there are ways to make multiply streams of income. I also learned NEVER put your trust in an employer or company.

Last year, I also found out someone I love with all my heart has cancer. I do not want to share too much for privacy reasons but I'm happy to say things are looking up. Throughout 2020, I got other forms of bad news but I do not want this post to be discouraging. So, let's not share everything.

Fast-forward to the summer, I was still freelancing as well as job hunting. I felt like I was working two jobs and getting half the pay. The work I put in eventually paid off. Although, while I was doing so it took a toll on my mental health. I started to question my talents, credibility, and self-worth. I always say, "your job does not define you". I've said this so much it has become something I am known for. Although in the society we live in, that is not always the case. I still stand by those words but it is difficult to live by. Especially, when you are getting rejection emails and no replies.

Even though I was questioning my talents, my love for editing grew. We were spending so much time indoors, so there was a demand to be entertained and kill time. Hence, the rise of Tik Tok (and IG Reels). One of the few highlights from last year was a video of mine going viral on Instagram. Which lead to an increase in my following. It was amazing to see people appreciate a talent I was starting to doubt. My doubts did not stop me from creating although it shook my confidence. Seeing strangers enjoy my edits as much as I do gave me the push I needed to keep trying. There is power in words.

That being said, I wrote this prayer in the form of a letter to 2021.