It's been a very long time since I have sat down and shared what is going on in my life. Usually, I like to keep things light and breezy although if I did so now, I would be doing myself a disservice. Where do I begin? Hmm... how about stating the obvious. 2020 was trash. A year I would love to forget. Although, I would be lying if I didn't say it made me stronger. Oh yes, it for sure made me stronger. Whether I wanted it to or not.
I am going to run through some of my major low points of last year excluding the major events that impacted us all such as COVID, racial injustice, and the overall loss of so many lives. My mental health was at the weakest it had ever been. I thank God every day for my support system because that was one of the few positive things to come out of 2020. My relationships with my loved ones grew stronger.
The start of 2020 was wonderful! We brought in the new year by the ocean. It was a very relaxing start to the new year. I was also up for a job promotion and getting ready to register a business, my friend and I were about to launch. That all went out the window when COVID hit. I lost my job due to the pandemic and had to reevaluate my finances. I started to freelance a lot more as my main source of income. The fear of not knowing the exact amount of money I was going to make that month was terrifying. Looking back, I am very proud for taking that step because it lead to my current job. It also showed me there are ways to make multiply streams of income. I also learned NEVER put your trust in an employer or company.
Last year, I also found out someone I love with all my heart has cancer. I do not want to share too much for privacy reasons but I'm happy to say things are looking up. Throughout 2020, I got other forms of bad news but I do not want this post to be discouraging. So, let's not share everything.
Fast-forward to the summer, I was still freelancing as well as job hunting. I felt like I was working two jobs and getting half the pay. The work I put in eventually paid off. Although, while I was doing so it took a toll on my mental health. I started to question my talents, credibility, and self-worth. I always say, "your job does not define you". I've said this so much it has become something I am known for. Although in the society we live in, that is not always the case. I still stand by those words but it is difficult to live by. Especially, when you are getting rejection emails and no replies.
Even though I was questioning my talents, my love for editing grew. We were spending so much time indoors, so there was a demand to be entertained and kill time. Hence, the rise of Tik Tok (and IG Reels). One of the few highlights from last year was a video of mine going viral on Instagram. Which lead to an increase in my following. It was amazing to see people appreciate a talent I was starting to doubt. My doubts did not stop me from creating although it shook my confidence. Seeing strangers enjoy my edits as much as I do gave me the push I needed to keep trying. There is power in words.
That being said, I wrote this prayer in the form of a letter to 2021.
